


If Only I Could Tell You

by nightshade002



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Prince Iwaizumi, Retainer Oikawa, Slow Burn, Swordfighting, Violence, War, a lot of near death experiences, it's a fire emblem au tho so what did you expect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-24 00:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13799799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightshade002/pseuds/nightshade002
Summary: Hajime fought back as best he could, but he had made a grave mistake in underestimating Oikawa. His sword was pushed out of his hands by some fancy move Oikawa made that Hajime had never seen before. He stepped closer and hit Hajime’s shoulder with the hilt of his sword. Hajime noticed too late that Oikawa had one foot behind Hajime’s and he fell to the floor, looking up to find a sword at his throat.“Do you yield?” Oikawa asked with a smile still on his face.“Not to you,” Hajime growled, swinging his legs around and toppling Oikawa. He rolled to grab his sword, standing back up at the same time as Oikawa.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, it is me with an au that really should have been expected bc i love fire emblem and i love inigo/laslow and xander.

“Hajime, this is Oikawa. He will be one of your new retainers.”

Hajime stared at Oikawa. He had soft gray hair that looked like it was the only part of his appearance Oikawa put any time into and even that looked unevenly cut and dirty and long enough to fall over his eyes. There was a smudge of dirt on his left cheek and a scar across his right. His clothes were torn up and dirty as well. His boots were worn and breaking down. The pauldron on his shoulder was dented and scratched. All in all, he didn’t look like the kind of person who would be able to keep him safe from a _weak_ enemy, much less match Hajime in skill. Not to mention he was only a commoner and everyone in Nohr knew that the only way to be actually _skilled_ with the blade was to train in the castle. His father’s word was law, though, so he would just have to deal with it. Unless… 

“May I challenge him to a duel before I accept him as a retainer?”

The king thought about it for a few seconds. “Very well. As long as he accepts, I give my permission for you to duel.”

Oikawa turned to look him in the eyes. “I look forward to this duel.”

Hajime smirked and left to get ready for it. He wasn’t sure if Oikawa knew, but he was one of the best swordsmen in Nohr, second only to his father. This duel would be an easy win for him and then he could find someone similar to his old retainers rather than some random commoner who had probably never even seen a battlefield.

“Will we be using wooden swords or real ones in this duel, milord?”

“Real swords. I need to know how you would fare using an actual sword rather than a practice one.”

Oikawa nodded. “Of course. In that case, may I use my own sword?”

Hajime nodded. He didn’t think it would make much of a difference. There were only three legendary swords that would make a difference in the outcome of this battle and he wielded one, another was wielded by the prince of Hoshido, and the third was sealed away. In this duel, he wouldn’t be using his own legendary sword. That would give him an unfair advantage. The sword Oikawa drew was unlike any he’d seen before. It was by no means a common sword, but a custom made sword would hit just the same as any common sword.

“You will go until one of you yields or Shouyou deems one of you incapable of continuing,” Hajime’s father announced before stepping back and officially starting the duel.

Hajime waited for Oikawa to attack him first, but it seemed like Oikawa was waiting for the same thing. One of them would eventually have to make the first move and Hajime was _not_ a patient man. He rushed forward, coming at Oikawa directly. Oikawa didn’t move and Hajime figured he’d get an easy hit in right at the start. He wasn’t expecting his swing to be interrupted by Oikawa’s sword. He hadn’t even seen him move. Oikawa smiled. Pushed back.

His strength surprised Hajime as well. He stumbled back from the force, not getting a chance to regain his footing as Oikawa came at him again, pushing him back and back with swift blows that Hajime could just barely keep up with. It was hard to find an opening to get an attack of his own in. Occasionally, Oikawa would pause and give Hajime a second to catch his breath before continuing his assault. It was extremely insulting that Oikawa thought he could just do that, but the short pauses came at random intervals and were so short Hajime couldn’t do anything about them. The worst part was that Oikawa hadn’t even broken a sweat.

Hajime fought back as best he could, but he had made a grave mistake in underestimating Oikawa. His sword was pushed out of his hands by some fancy move Oikawa made that Hajime had never seen before. He stepped closer and hit Hajime’s shoulder with the hilt of his sword. Hajime noticed too late that Oikawa had one foot behind Hajime’s and he fell to the floor, looking up to find a sword at his throat.

“Do you yield?” Oikawa asked with a smile still on his face.

“Not to you,” Hajime growled, swinging his legs around and toppling Oikawa. He rolled to grab his sword, standing back up at the same time as Oikawa. This time he didn’t let Oikawa control the flow of their duel. He attacked first, ready for Oikawa’s quick reflexes this time. It felt good to be on the attack now, keeping Oikawa on his toes for once.

He couldn’t get in little nicks and scratches as Oikawa had, but he was doing a good job of forcing Oikawa back. Or maybe Oikawa was leading him around the room. Hajime couldn’t tell at this point. The way Oikawa was fighting was almost like he was toying with him, drawing him in only to pull back at the last second so Hajime expended energy trying to keep up with him. Eventually he pushed him hard enough that Oikawa lost that damn smile and seemed to start to take the duel seriously. Hajime managed to get close enough to get a hit in, cutting through Oikawa’s pants, just above his left knee. His right leg slid a bit further back at that. Interesting.

Hajime started focusing his attacks on Oikawa’s legs, noticing how every time he got close to getting a hit in, Oikawa would move his right leg back even further, disrupting his perfect form. It took him a while, but eventually he was able to get one good hit in with the flat of his sword. Nearly as soon as it hit his knee, he crumbled to the floor. His eyes were wide in surprise for a second, but by the time he hit the floor he had that _damn_ smile on his face again. Hajime pointed his sword at Oikawa’s throat and opened his mouth to speak, but Oikawa beat him to it.

“Do you wish me to yield? Or shall I continue to prove my worth in a fight,” Oikawa said, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

Hajime ignored him. “Do you yield?”

“I yield.”

Hajime sheathed his sword and reached his hand out. Oikawa glanced down at it, then back up at his face before grabbing it and allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. The fact that Oikawa rested all of his weight on his left leg didn’t escape Hajime’s notice.

“I will accept him as my retainer,” he said to his father. The king nodded in approval.

“He is your responsibility now, Hajime. I am making the announcement tomorrow. I expect you to take care of making him look presentable.”

“Of course father.”

As soon as the king left, Shouyou rushed up to Oikawa. “That was so cool! You almost beat Hajime! Will you teach me how to use a sword?”

Oikawa smiled and ruffled his hair. “I would, but I’m really nothing special. You’d be better off learning from an actual instructor.”

“But you were all like _fwoosh_ and _shing_ and I wanna learn how to use a sword instead of being stuck healing,” Shouyou exclaimed, badly imitating Oikawa fighting. “Come on, _please_?”

“If you learn the basics, I’ll teach you some of the cooler moves,” Oikawa compromised. “How’s that sound?”

“Great!” Shouyou yelled.

“Oi, Oikawa, come on. We’ve gotta make you look like you’ve at least heard of something nicer than a barn,” Hajime called.

“Milord, I hardly think that’s fair. I think I’m at least nice enough to know a farm house,” Oikawa called back teasingly. Hajime had to turn around so that Oikawa didn’t see his smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna wait until next sunday to update, but i've got this written and i'm a fundamentally impatient person

The first time Hajime saw Oikawa in battle, he was… amazed. He was so distracted by Oikawa’s fighting that he nearly lost his arm. Oikawa was just so skilled. Of course, he knew that already from their duel, one which Oikawa insisted never had a sequel, but Hajime had never seen one man take on so many enemies at once before. Oikawa was completely surrounded by Faceless, they had appeared out of nowhere, and doing just fine. He wasn’t overwhelmed by them at all. In fact, it looked as though he was toying with them as he had done with Hajime. He seemed to be used to a technique that allowed him to get a read on his opponent’s own technique and find all of the weaknesses. Hajime hated to admit it, but he would like to learn from Oikawa.

Hajime forcibly tore his eyes from Oikawa. He had a battle to focus on. The Faceless seemed to be appearing just as fast as he could cut them down and Oikawa didn’t seem to be doing much better. One of them caught his left arm and he cried out.

“Milord, are you alright?” Oikawa yelled from somewhere behind him.

“I’m fine,” he yelled back through gritted teeth. Oikawa didn’t respond and he figured it was just because he was busy fighting Faceless. He was proven wrong when Oikawa literally leapt over the Faceless separating them to fight at his side. “I said I’m fine.”

“I heard. I just didn’t trust that you were being honest,” Oikawa replied simply. “You overestimate yourself and continue to underestimate me.”

Hajime gritted his teeth and went silent. That would have to be a conversation for later, once they were finally free of the Faceless. Oikawa was cutting them down left and right while he himself was having much more trouble. It took them a long while before all of the Faceless had been defeated.

“Milord, are you injured?”

Hajime shrugged. “Some cuts and bruises, but other than that I’m fine.”

Oikawa crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “Right and I’ve never picked up a sword before. I have an elixir with me, you can drink that.”

“I don't need it, the few bruises I have are small and can heal on their own,” Hajime said before Oikawa could make him drink the elixir.

“Take off your shirt,” he said, starting to rummage around in one of the bags on his belt.

“Excuse me?”

“Take off your shirt. If you're not going to use the elixir I have, I’m going to treat the actual injuries you claim to not have.”

“I don’t have-”

“You’re bleeding, Lord Hajime,” Oikawa snapped. Hajime looked down at his shirt, trying to find where he was bleeding. “Just let me help you. I know what I’m doing, I’ve had to treat far worse wounds before.”

“Fine,” Hajime snapped. He wasn’t wearing full armor today, so it was easy enough for him to take what little protection he was wearing off in order to take off his shirt. “Why have you had to treat wounds before?”

Oikawa pulled a small jar out of his bag and dipped his fingers in. “My aunt was a cleric. I’ve no magical talent, but she taught me how to do basic healing things when I was young so I could help the soldiers while I was still too young to start training with a sword. Gods know we needed as many healers as possible.”

Hajime shivered when Oikawa started rubbing the ointment onto some of his bruises. “Were you born in a time of war?”

Oikawa shook his head. “Not born, but close enough. I can’t really remember a time where my homeland was at peace. The first war started when I was about four.”

“The first? How many…?”

“This war, between Hoshido and Nohr, is the sixth I have fought in, I believe. I know you and I haven’t fought yet, but it is only a matter of time.” He started wrapping the worst bruises and the cuts with some bandages he had _apparently_ brought with him. Hajime was honestly surprised at how prepared he was for such a small mission, but maybe it was just habit that made Oikawa carry healing supplies.

“The sixth?” Oikawa nodded. Hajime decided not to push him. If Oikawa wanted to talk about it, he knew that he would. “Are you nearly done?”

“Rest assured, milord, it won-” Oikawa was harshly cut off by a large hand around his throat. It squeezed down and lifted him up so that his feet couldn’t even touch the ground. He started gasping for breath and brought his hands up to attempt to pry the hand away while he kicked his legs.

“Oikawa!” Hajime yelled, unsheathing his sword and charging at the Faceless. 

It started swinging Oikawa around like a ragdoll, getting in his way any time he tried to attack. Circling around back didn’t work. It kept turning around so that he couldn’t ever get a good hit in. One of Oikawa’s hands stopped trying to pry the hand off his throat and pulled a dagger from his belt. The Faceless dropped him as soon as he stabbed the dagger into its wrist and he fell to the ground, coughing and gasping for breath. Hajime quickly killed it before kneeling down next to Oikawa. He was just pushing himself to his hands and knees when Hajime arrived.

“Are you-”

“I’m,” Oikawa started, interrupting himself with coughing, “I’ll be fine.”

“Your voice sounds like shit,” Hajime said bluntly, aware that he shouldn't use that kind of language as the prince. “Use the elixir you brought. _You_ actually need it.”

Oikawa stubbornly shook his head. “I’ll be fine,” he insisted and even though it was small, Hajime noticed him wince when he spoke. “I’ve had worse.”

“I don’t care. Use it.” Oikawa opened his mouth, no doubt to protest again, but Hajime shook his head. “That’s an order.”

Oikawa huffed and pulled it out, sitting back on his ankles. He took a small sip before setting it down and turning away to cough. Hajime wanted to help him somehow, but he had no idea what to do. _Gods_ , he felt so useless. The bruises had started to fade, but Oikawa would need to drink a lot more to be fully healed. Oikawa’s coughing gradually lessened and Hajime thought he would try to push on instead of drinking the rest. He took a bigger sip this time, getting it down a bit easier since his throat was already partially healed.

“There, I’m fine now,” he said after a few more sips.

“Are you certain?”

“Yes, milord,” Oikawa sighed, pushing himself to his feet, “I’m certain.”

“You can call me Hajime, you know,” he said after a stretch of silence while they continued on through the woods. “Not in front of Father or anything, but when it’s just us two, I don’t mind.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, milord,” Oikawa replied with a hint of a smile on his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to: i'm impatient and hate waiting to update things

Tooru wiped sweat off his forehead, panting. He took a sip of water and readjusted his grip on the wooden sword he was using. The training dummy he was using would likely break soon, so he’d need to fix it. Again.

“It’s a bit early in the morning for training, don’t you think?” Tooru whirled around to find Hajime facing him. “The sun hasn’t even come up yet.”

“I woke up early,” he lied smoothly. Technically it wasn’t a lie. He did wake up early. Two days ago.

“Ah,” Hajime nodded and Tooru thought, _hoped_ , he believed the lie. “Is that why you haven’t been to your room all night?”

“Well,” Tooru started.

“Or all of last night? And why even Matsukawa doesn’t know where you are? Because you woke up early?” Tooru opened his mouth but Hajime beat him to it. “How long have you _actually_ been in here?”

He sighed, rubbing at his eyes and dragging his hand down his face. “Since… after dinner last night, I think. But I might have forgotten about dinner. I can’t remember.”

“And you’ve been training the whole time,” Hajime asked, though they both knew it wasn’t a question. Tooru nodded. “And before dinner?”

“I was training,” he mumbled, looking down and kicking at the floor.

“What about the night before last?” Tooru looked away. “Oikawa, training is important but _resting_ is important too. You can’t just train _all the time_.”

“I don’t train all the time. I’ll be done soon, so you can just go do whatever you do this early in the morning. I don’t need you to treat me like a child,” Tooru snapped, far too tired to bother with being respectful. He turned away.

“I am not trying to treat you like a child,” Hajime growled, “I am showing you concern and I would _appreciate_ it if you listened to me.”

Tooru sighed and tightened his grip on the practice sword. “Just this once, milord, I’m going to have to not.” He wiped sweat from his face again.

“You need a break.”

“I _need_ to keep training.”

“Why? You’ll work yourself to death before you even make it to a battle.”

“What do you know of battle?” Tooru asked bitterly. “You may have seen a few, but you are by no means some sort of expert.”

“And you are?” Hajime challenged.

“I am much more experienced than you,” Tooru scoffed.

“Experience or no, I can still tell you’re working far too hard. No one can keep up that kind of training.”

“My lord, _stop_!” Tooru nearly yelled, spinning around to face the prince again. “I know my own limits and I’ll stop when I have to.”

Hajime took a step closer to him. “When you have to or when you drop from exhaustion?”

“What does it matter to you? You never even wanted me as your retainer in the first place. Do _not_ think I don’t know why you challenged me to that duel when we met.” Tooru knew in the back of his mind that he was far overstepping his bounds, but he couldn’t think straight.

“Oikawa, listen to yourself!” Hajime yelled, grabbing Tooru by the front of his shirt. “I trust you with my life. Do you seriously think I would allow someone I felt was unworthy to be my retainer? Do you think my father would appoint someone unworthy? That duel was because I was an idiot and judged your fighting skills from merely glancing at you. Nothing more. I view you as a friend and I sincerely hope that you feel the same way about me and as your _friend_ I’m asking you to stop whatever this is. It’s not healthy for you to do this and you have to know it.”

The two stared at each other in silence for a few moments, Hajime’s gaze concerned while Tooru’s was still challenging, before Tooru broke eye contact to look at the ground and heaved a sigh. “You’re right, milord, I-” he sighed again, “I just… it’s…”

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you get some rest now,” Hajime said, easing the practice sword out of Tooru’s hand. Tooru was honestly too tired to fight it. “Come on,” he said and led Tooru out of the training room. 

“Are you sure we’re going the right way?” Tooru asked after a few minutes of walking. “I’m pretty sure my room is the other way.”

“This is the right way, trust me,” Hajime responded.

“Isn’t this the way to your room?”

Hajime nodded in front of him and Tooru abruptly stopped. “I can’t rest in _your_ room.”

“Sure you can. And you’re going to. I want to make sure you actually rest and don’t just find somewhere else to train.”

“I won’t-”

“Doesn’t matter,” Hajime interrupted. “I’ve already made my decision.” Tooru crossed his arms and stopped arguing. He was stubborn, but Hajime was even more so and he was the one that held the power. Giving up like this wasn’t his favorite thing to do, in fact he hated it, but it was the smarter thing to do. “I don’t wish to make you frustrated, but this is the only way I can make sure you get the rest you need.”

“I understand, milord,” Tooru replied, tone clipped.

“You _can_ just call me Hajime.”

“I’ll think about it, milord.”

“I feel like you do that just to annoy me.”

“Not sure where you got that idea,” Tooru hummed.

\--

Hajime was starting to get worried. He had made Oikawa go to sleep hours ago. The sun was nearly setting and he hadn't heard any movement from his bedroom for a few hours. He really wanted to check on him, but he also didn't want to disturb him if he was asleep. The room just seemed far too quiet.

He sighed, standing up from his desk and all the paperwork he was supposed to do. It was obvious that he wouldn’t get any work done without checking on Oikawa, so he quietly walked over and opened the door.

Oikawa was still laying in the bed, not facing him, which was a win for him. He had half been expecting Oikawa to climb out the window. He was more still than he should have been, though. Hajime knew from experience that Oikawa moved around a lot in his sleep. Wait, he wasn’t completely still. It looked as though he was trembling. Hajime wasn’t entirely sure what to do in this situation. It was the first time Oikawa had shown anything that could be considered close to vulnerability and Hajime didn’t even know if he was awake or not. He heard a shaky intake of breath, a noise that a sleeping person definitely wouldn’t make.

“Oikawa?”

Oikawa stiffened, but didn’t respond otherwise. _So he is awake._

“Do you,” he paused to clear his throat, instantly regretting not having any sort of plan, “need anything?” Oikawa shook his head once, quickly. “Are you sure?” A nod. Obviously Oikawa wanted to avoid talking to him. Hajime had never been a very subtle person. “Why aren’t you talking?”

Oikawa sniffled and _oh_.

“Are you crying?”

“No,” Oikawa said.

He wasn’t entirely sure what to do in situations like this. He was pretty sure he was supposed to offer support of some sort, but he wasn’t sure what Oikawa would want. “Do you… want to talk about it?”

Oikawa huffed out a little laugh. “I appreciate the sentiment, my lord, but it’s not the sort of thing you would understand.”

“How do you know?” Hajime asked.

“It’s a very… unique situation. Not many in Nohr would even believe what happened, much less understand.”

“Is this about your homeland?” Hajime moved to sit on the edge of his bed.

Oikawa nodded. “You’d think me crazy if I told you the whole truth. I could guarantee it.”

“I wouldn’t-”

“You would. I promise. If someone else told me that this happened to them, I would think it. If I didn’t know people that went through the same thing, I would think myself crazy. But there are… parts of it that are on the more mild side.”

“Which are?”

“My mother died. A few years ago around this date. She died protecting me, because I was weak. It was one of my first battles in the war and we were surrounded by enemies similar to the Faceless and I wasn’t strong enough or fast enough and she was killed right… right in front of me,” Oikawa said, voice breaking.

“You consider that more mild? Gods, I hate to think what else you might have gone through.”

“It’s all in the… in _my_ past now, I suppose, but…” Oikawa trailed off. He still hadn’t turned over to face Hajime.

“It may be in the past, but that doesn’t mean it can’t affect you still. Wounds like those take years to heal, if they heal at all. Were you doing all that training because of how helpless you used to feel?” Oikawa nodded. “I can promise you, you’re much stronger than you were then. When we dueled, I thought I might lose and I am supposed to be the best fighter in Nohr.”

“You nearly did lose.”

“Well, yes, I remember, but-”

“You’re supposed to be the best fighter in Nohr because you’re the Crown Prince. I know that, my lord. I couldn’t let you give up that title to some nobody who just appeared out of nowhere. The only reason that you didn’t lose is because I let you win,” Oikawa finally turned over to face him. His eyes were still red from crying, but he appeared to be feeling better. “Your form was sloppy and your moves were slow.”

“You mean to tell me that I didn’t win a fair fight?” Oikawa nodded. “Then I demand a rematch.”

“Absolutely not,” he shot him down, shaking his head. “I’m content with the results and that is enough for me.”

“If I only won because you let me, I want a fair fight, no holding back,” Hajime argued. “And what about the thing with your leg? Were you faking that?”

“No, that’s from an… old wound,” Oikawa replied, seeming slightly distant again. “I neglected treatment for a bit too long and there’s a scar left. It still hurts sometimes, but I’ve gotten used to it. But you only found that little weakness because I let you get a hit in. You were more perceptive than I thought, though. With your attack style, I would have thought you to be the kind of person to simply use brute force without thinking, but you managed to figure out my weakness and use it against me in the middle of a fight. Not many have.”

“Trying to flatter me won’t get you out of a rematch, you know.”

“Aren’t duels only supposed to be fought between two people of equal standing, _my lord_? It would be in bad taste to hold another like that.”

“If no one knows, then it’s fine.”

“Didn’t take you for the rule breaking type, my lord,” Oikawa said with a smile. “But my answer’s still no and it’s not likely that you’ll change my mind. And since it would be viewed as lowering yourself to just slightly above commoners, you can’t really order me to do it. If you did, then the conversation would have to leave this room and it would be a public affair. If you ever want to do other rule breaking things, though, let me know. I’ve a whole list of things I’d like to do.”


	4. Chapter 4

Tooru had never wanted to tell someone the truth more in his life, and he knew he shouldn’t, but Hajime deserved the truth. The problem was that Tooru was certain he wouldn’t accept the truth. After all, who would actually believe a story about _time travel_ and dragon gods and the end of the world. He wouldn’t. He wasn’t lying when he said that he only believed the story because it happened to him. He also had vague memories of what his future was supposed to include, and it wasn’t pretty.

But all of that had to be kept from Hajime. Not only because Hajime would think him crazy, but also because the god Anankos warned him against it. Well, he had warned him against telling _anyone_ , but it really only mattered with Hajime.

So he felt bad that, while he wasn’t telling Hajime anything, he spilled everything to some Hoshidan soldiers.

“You’re telling me that you travelled back from the future into the past in order to change fate?” Tooru nodded. “In a different world?” Another nod. “And that, to you, Hoshido and Nohr were merely fairy tales you were told when you were young?”

“That’s right. You’ve got it,” he replied. He could see the incredulity in the soldier’s face. “But you forgot the part where I’m a prince in the other world and that I magically changed my appearance in this world to make sure no one recognized me.”

“And you expect me to believe this?”

Tooru nodded earnestly. “It’s the truth.”

“Where does Nohr even find its retainers?”

“I told you where I’m from already,” he replied, playing up the clueless act. After this, it would be _easy_ to break out and find his way back to Nohr. The soldier left to talk to who he assumed was the commander of the army, but they were still close enough that he could hear.

“He’s completely crazy. There’s no way that he’ll give us good information about the Nohrian army. Not useful information, at least.”

“Well, we can’t really let him go. He’s far too dangerous for that. Didn’t you see him in battle? He fights like no one I’ve ever seen. It’s like he was trained to be hopelessly outnumbered. Have you tried asking about anything other than his past?”

“Of course I have, but if I ask any questions about Nohr or Prince Hajime, he responds with the same thing. ‘I am loyal to Prince Hajime.’ I don’t think there’s any way to get him to talk about Nohr. He seems set on only replying with that.”

“Maybe he’ll talk to me?” the commander suggested. Tooru smiled at how unsure he sounded.

“You can try, but I don’t think he’ll give you anything else.” He walked over to Tooru’s cell. “Hello. You’re Tooru, right?”

He hummed. “Depends who you ask. I’m Tooru in my homeland, but I’m Oikawa here.”

“I’m Daichi. Which would you prefer I use?”

Tooru shrugged. “Either one is fine, really. I’m used to both.”

“Ok, well-”

“If you’re going to ask me to reveal any sort of secrets, or anything I think you don’t already know, don’t bother. Koushi was it? Koushi already asked. My answer won’t change,” he said, interrupting Daichi. “I am loyal to Prince Hajime. I’m not sure if I can be much more clear.”

“Why do you have such loyalty to him? If you haven’t even known him for that long? What do you know of him as a person?”

“I know enough about him and I have my own reasons for my loyalty,” Tooru replied, trying not to actually think too much about the questions. If he actually stopped to consider _why_ he was so loyal, why he was fairly certain he would be willing to die for Hajime, he knew his mind would stray into forbidden territory, forbidden _feelings_. “That’s really all that needs to be said.”

They went back and forth like that for a while before Daichi left. He stayed longer than Tooru had expected, honestly. Long enough that he learned a few things about the Hoshidan army that he hadn’t known before. 

The prison he was being kept in was silent for the most part. He was fairly certain that he was the only prisoner. The guard stationed at the end of the hall was basically ignoring him, something that he was largely grateful for. He pulled a hairpin out of his hair and set to work picking the lock. He was a bit rusty at it, but his father’s friend’s lessons paid off when the cell door unlocked. It made a louder noise than he would have liked, but the guard didn’t appear to have noticed. 

Tooru crept down the hall quietly, sneaking up on the guard. He hit him in the head quickly to knock him out. He caught him, dragging him to the cell he had been in before taking his keys off his belt and locking the door. His next step was to find his sword. Gods know his sister would kill him if he lost the Falchion. Not to mention he had grown quite fond of his dagger.

Finding the armory took longer than Tooru would have liked. He was glad there was a small one in the prison for all the weapons they took when they captured someone. He found his dagger fairly quickly, but the Falchion was nowhere to be seen. Something clattered in the entrance to the prison and Tooru scrambled to find some sort of hiding spot. There really wasn’t anywhere to hide in a room as small as this, so he positioned himself behind the door. It was by no means the best hiding spot, but it would have to do. At least this way he would be able to ambush anyone. And there would be no shortage of weapons for him to use.

The door was pushed open a bit more and Tooru held his breath. He hoped whoever it was would assume the room empty, but that didn’t seem to be the case when they stepped into the room farther. (To be honest, room was a generous description. It was more of a large closet, like the one in his quarters in Ylisse.) As soon as he could see their boot, he struck, shoving the door into them and springing out from behind it while they were still disoriented.

“Oikawa?”

“Prince Hajime?” It slowly dawned on Tooru that he had just _attacked_ the prince. “Oh my gods, are you okay? I didn’t know it was you!”

“Well, you’re definitely better off than I thought you were,” Hajime responded. “I thought you were captured?”

“I broke out. My father’s friend was a thief and he taught me how to pick locks when I was a kid.” Hajime stared at him. “What?”

“Your father was friends with a thief?”

“Don’t give me that look, Kiyoko is an assassin and she’s Saeko’s _retainer_.”

“Yeah, but…” Hajime trailed off. “Nevermind, we can talk about this later.”

Tooru nodded. “Good idea, follow me. I have to get my sword.”

“I hardly think-”

“It’s important to me, my lord.”

Hajime nodded and Tooru lead the way out of the small prison. He made sure to be silent while walking along the edge of the building. The less people that realized he had escaped, the better. Especially if that number was zero. Hajime, apparently, did not understand the need for silence.

“Can you be _any_ louder?” Tooru hissed, turning around to glare at him. “Have you never been stealthy ever in your life?”

“Sorry if I prefer to win fair, straightforward fights,” Hajime hissed back.

“Well, you didn’t win the last one, did you?”

“Oikawa,” Hajime growled.

“Halt! Don’t move!”

Tooru and Hajime froze and stared at each other with wide eyes before turning in tandem to the voice. Daichi and Koushi were standing in front of them, swords drawn. Tooru would have been fine with that if not for the five archers backing them up.

“I just want to make this perfectly clear, milord, I blame you for this,” Tooru whispered out of the corner of his mouth.

“You’re the one that couldn’t leave without his sword.”

“Tooru, drop the knife,” Daichi commanded.

“It’s an important sword!” Tooru stressed, ignoring Daichi.

“Who’s Tooru?” Hajime asked.

Tooru shrugged. “No idea.”

“ _You’re_ Tooru,” Daichi replied, “you told me.”

Tooru tilted his head. “My name is Oikawa,” he said, feigning confusion and relaxing his form. “I have no idea who Tooru is.”

“You-” Daichi was cut off by Koushi whispering in his ear. He nodded. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever you call yourself, drop your weapon.”

Tooru subconsciously moved in front of Hajime. He knew Hajime could take care of himself, but it _was_ his job to make sure nothing happened. “Is there another option?” he asked lightly.

“Not one you’ll like,” Daichi responded.

Tooru hummed. “Pity. I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. My lord, please stand back.”

“I know how to fight, Oikawa, I’m not a child.”

Tooru turned around to look at Hajime. “Milord, _please_ -” Tooru was cut off by a fireball hitting the ground between him and Daichi. “That’s our cue, let’s go,” he said, grabbing Hajime by the wrist and running.

“Don’t let them get away!” Daichi yelled, but they were all kept occupied by the mage on the roof of the building.

“Run to the forest, I’ll meet you there,” Tooru instructed, momentarily forgetting who he was talking to.

“No, I’m coming with you!” Hajime protested, standing firm. Tooru had an argument on the tip of his tongue, but he held himself back. Occasionally, he forgot that he wasn’t the prince here. Hajime was.

“Fine,” Tooru forced out through gritted teeth and set off through the town.

“Do you even know where you’re going?”

“The forge. If they didn’t keep it in the armory, it’s in the forge. I mean it’s not like they can do much to a blade like that, but they would probably try to make it usable.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Tooru froze for less than a second, realizing he was either going to have to tell Hajime more than he really should or obviously lie to his face. “I’ll tell you later, now shh,” _or he could just deflect the question_.

Hajime sighed, but he didn’t say more. Tooru nearly sighed in relief, but he caught himself at the last second. Any reaction to that would look suspicious. They made their way through the town, unnoticed due to Matsukawa’s diversion from the rooftops.

Thankfully, no one was in the forge when they got there. It didn’t take Tooru long to pick the lock. “Thank the gods nothing happened to it,” he breathed out. “Let’s go.”

“Before we go,” Hajime said, “you _will_ answer my question later, right?”

Tooru bit his lip and glanced at the door. “We really should-”

“Oikawa.”

“If it will get you to leave now, then yes, fine. I’ll answer your question. Now let’s _go_. Matsukawa can’t hold off everyone by himself forever.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh I know this chapter is shorter than the others, but the next one will be _long_

“Y’know, milord, I didn’t think you were the hypocritical type,” Tooru said, very obviously startling Hajime.

“I’m not pushing my body past its physical limits,” Hajime replied. “There are just a lot of reports to write.”

“When was the last time you took a break?” Hajime shrugged. “You’re taking a break for a few hours, then,” Tooru said decisively. He knew that Hajime could, realistically, simply refuse and he wouldn’t really be able to do much.

“And if I say no?”

Tooru smiled, putting his hand down on the desk next to what Hajime was working on. “I suppose you’ll have to deal with more reports of a royal retainer wreaking havoc on the town. And if you force me to stay in here with you, I’ll be as distracting as possible.”

Hajime sighed, putting his quill down. “What did you have in mind?”

He stared at Hajime. That was surprisingly easier than he had expected. “We’re going somewhere you can forget about your responsibilities for a while. You’ve never heard of the place.” He could tell Hajime’s interest was piqued. “Do you have any less… royal looking clothes? You’ll stand out too much as you are.”

“Where are you taking me?” Hajime asked, obviously hesitant, but Tooru could tell he was being won over.

Tooru shrugged. “If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise. Matsukawa’s going to join us, by the way.”

“Are you sure this is safe?”

“Perfectly safe, milord,” Tooru answered quickly. “I would never put you in danger. And I’ve been to this place before. It’s like a tavern, but it is also a place of peace. Fights are not tolerated and newcomers are only allowed if brought by regulars. _And_ everything is completely anonymous. Everyone wears decorative masks.”

“How do they know the regulars, then?”

“They wear the same mask, obviously. Even the staff wears masks.”

“It’s really safe?” Hajime asked again.

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. Just as long as you take a break. But I hear The Dancer is going to be there tonight.”

“The Dancer?”

Tooru bit his lip. Maybe it was too soon to bring that part up. “It’s easier if you just see for yourself. Please, milord? Just one time, come with me.”

Hajime hesitated, but Tooru didn’t lose all hope just yet. “I don’t have a mask.”

“I can lend you one!” Tooru said quickly, trying to look just a little less eager. “And I probably have more common-looking clothes you can borrow.”

“If you think that’s necessary,” Hajime sighed, “then fine.”

“Great, come on!” Tooru grabbed Hajime’s wrist and dragged him back to Tooru’s room.

“Your room is surprisingly bare,” Hajime commented upon their arrival. “I would have expected more… decoration. Something more fitting for your personality.”

Tooru shrugged. He had never really thought of his choice in decor. “I don’t need a lot of things to survive. Acquiring too much becomes a hinder when travelling.”

“You don’t have to travel anymore,” Hajime said, and though the reply was innocent enough, it still stung, just a bit.

Tooru cast his eyes downward. “I suppose I’ve just never gotten used to staying in one place. If… if… no,” he shook his head, clearing the thought out instantly, “never mind, forget I said anything.” Tooru couldn’t think about the possibility of _staying in one place_. Especially not here in Nohr. He loved it here, even despite the war, but he didn’t belong. He wasn’t sure he really belonged anywhere.

“Oikawa?”

Tooru forced himself to smile. He wasn’t quite sure if it reached his eyes, but he hoped it was enough to fool Hajime. “Forget about me. This is to take some stress off of you.” Tooru dug through his dresser. He pulled out clothes for himself and Hajime. “Put this on. I’ll find you a mask that fits it. There’s a side room for you to change in, if you’d like. Or I can change there if you’d prefer to change in here.”

“I’ll use the side room. Let me know when it’s alright to come out.”

Tooru nodded and as soon as Hajime had closed the door, he started changing as quickly as possible, putting on one loose outfit over the other tight one. He was going to pull this off, no matter what. All he had to do was make sure Hajime never realized that he was The Dancer. 

“I’m ready to go whenever you are, milord.”


	6. Chapter 6

Hajime pulled on the edge of the mask Oikawa had leant him. He had to admit, the place Oikawa had brought him to wasn’t what he was expecting. The typical tavern scene he had been imagining, drunken fights and shameless flirts, couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

“Well?” Oikawa asked after Hajime’s first drink. “Was it what you were expecting?”

Hajime shook his head. “I didn’t know any place like this existed.”

“That is kind of the point, you know,” Oikawa said lightly. Hajime shrugged and they fell into a comfortable silence. “Oh, I almost forgot! You’re not a lightweight, are you?”

“Of course I’m not.”

Oikawa smiled. “Great.” He looked past Hajime. “Issei, take care of our dear Iwa, will you? I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be back soon.”

It took Hajime a second to remember the false names they were using, but by the time he did, Oikawa was already gone.

“Is The Dancer gonna show up tonight?” the bartender asked Matsukawa. Hajime turned to him, eager to hear more about whoever this was. Oikawa’d mentioned him, but he hadn’t given any details.

“You know I can’t control that,” Matsukawa replied warmly. It was the most welcoming he’d seen Matsukawa since he and Oikawa showed up at the castle. Honestly, this was a nice change, not that Matsukawa had ever been rude or angry with anyone. He just seemed completely neutral. Almost like Oikawa had been when he first arrived. “He’ll show up if he wants to. Shouldn’t you be the one that knows more, Hiro?”

“He always seems to come when you’re here, Issei. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you knew him personally.”

Matsukawa hummed. “But you do know better.”

Hiro nodded, leaning on the bar and not even pretending to work anymore. “Who’s your friend?”

Hajime started a bit. He hadn’t expected the conversation to shift to _him_. “I’m Iwa.”

“Nice to meet ya, Iwa,” Hiro replied. “Now come on, Issei, you’ve gotta know.”

Matsukawa sighed. “Yeah, he’ll be here tonight. Soon, too, if my guesses are right.”

“Who’s The Dancer?” Iwaizumi asked.

“You didn’t tell him?”

Matsukawa shrugged. “Thought Tooru did.”

“Well, it doesn’t pay to say anything now. Not if he’s almost here.”

“But-”

“Sorry, Iwa,” Hiro shrugged unapologetically, “you’ve just gotta wait.”

“Not much longer, it would seem,” Matsukawa pointed out, directing Hajime’s attention to the stage area where someone was talking to the musicians. He had light pink hair, a color Hajime had never seen before in hair, and his outfit was so revealing it made Hajime blush. The man somehow convinced the musicians to move their instruments off to the side of the stage and the lights in the room dimmed until the stage was unmistakably the brightest place. The musicians started playing a melody that was apparently familiar to the man dancing. “Iwa, meet The Dancer.”

Hajime would have responded, he honestly would have, but he was far too distracted by the stunning performance. He didn't know much about dancing, but he could tell this man was skilled. 

Hiro leaned over the counter. “You might want to close your mouth,” he whispered into Hajime’s ear. Hajime jumped and was surely blushing, but Hiro didn’t comment on it. 

“Isn’t he a bit close to the edge of the stage?” Hajime asked, still nearly completely focused on the dance. “What if he missteps?”

Matsukawa laughed. “He wouldn’t misstep. He-”

Hajime stopped listening when he saw The Dancer backflip off the stage and land in the middle of one of the tables. One of the women at the table stood up and The Dancer jumped off the table and offered his hand to her. She took it and he started to spin her around the room. It was obviously much less practiced than what he was doing alone, but they looked like they were having fun. After only a few minutes, the woman was returned to her seat and The Dancer moved on to someone new.

With each new person, Hajime could feel the mood of the room get lighter and lighter. Everyone was focused on The Dancer, Hajime included, and they were all laughing along and clapping. Some were even singing along to the music.

Hiro poked his shoulder. “He’s going to come for you soon.”

“What-”

“You’re new here, so he’ll want to dance with you,” Matsukawa explained. “At this point, with how much control he’s got of the room, I’m not sure you’ll be able to refuse. If you wanted to, that is.”

The Dancer was currently alone, making his way over to them. Hajime thought Hiro and Matsukawa may have been right, but instead of him, The Dancer grabbed Matsukawa’s arm and started dancing around the room with him. It was clear, even to Hajime, that they did this often. Matsukawa almost seemed to be leading The Dancer around. Out of all the people The Dancer had danced with, he seemed to smile the most with Matsukawa. Not that Hajime was paying attention to that kind of thing.

Matsukawa was returned to his seat and The Dancer spun away once more, returning to the stage for a while before leaping off again, ending up in front of Hajime, holding out his hand to him.

“May I have this dance?” he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

Hajime hesitated. Everything around them had gone quiet. The music stopped, the people stared. Hiro reached forward and pushed him off his stool. The Dancer caught him before he could fall onto the floor. He pulled Hajime close and started slowly. As soon as they moved, everything else resumed.

“I- I don’t know how to dance.”

“Anyone can do it. Let me know how soon you’d like to stop.”

“Is now too soon to ask for?”

The Dancer laughed quietly. “Just follow me and you’ll do fine. Most of the people here don’t know how to dance, either, but that doesn’t stop them. Though, I’m fairly certain they don’t dance with me for the dancing.”

“Why then?”

He smiled. “To get the chance to talk to me, of course. Everyone here wears a mask, so the mystery from that is nonexistent. Somehow, though, I’ve managed to make myself somewhat of a mystery.”

“Not to mention you’re very good looking,” Hajime added, almost absentmindedly. His eyes shot open, though he was fairly certain The Dancer wouldn’t be able to see that. “I mean-”

He laughed, loud and genuine and Hajime’s heart skipped a beat. “I think perhaps you’ve had a bit too much to drink. I should get you back to your seat.”

“But-”

“We can continue this conversation soon, alright?” Hajime nodded and before he knew it, he was sitting back down and The Dancer had made his way back to the stage once more.

“You’re lucky,” Matsukawa commented. “He usually doesn’t keep one partner for that long.”

Hajime nodded absentmindedly, staring at the stage, watching as The Dancer finally finished and the music died down. He was prepared to turn back around and finish his drink - and maybe go looking for Oikawa - when The Dancer made his way straight towards him.

“I did say soon, didn’t I?” he said by way of greeting Hajime. “Afterall, I never even learned a name to call you by.”

“It’s Iwa.”

“Iwa, hm?” he remarked, sitting down next to Hajime. “It’s nice and short, I like it. Are you enjoying your first time here?”

“How did you know it was?”

“Simple, I’ve never seen you around before. And you were far too nervous when you got here. You’ve relaxed, but I think that’s mostly from the drinks,” he said, gently lowering Hajime’s drink down to the counter of the bar. He didn’t take his hand away from Hajime’s

“It’s not!” Hajime responded quickly. 

The Dancer tilted his head. “Oh?”

“It’s, um,” Hajime started, suddenly almost _shy_ about the whole thing, “it was your dancing. It really lightened the atmosphere and made everything seem more welcoming. I was worried that this kind of place would be unaccepting towards newcomers.”

“That would defeat the purpose of a place like this, wouldn’t it?” he asked. “The point is to have a place where people of all origins can come together in peace. It’s especially important in a time like this, no?”

Hajime nodded. “I’m glad to have learned such a place exists. I don’t think I would have found this on my own.”

“You came with Tooru and Issei, right?”

“Yeah, uh, Tooru thought I was too stressed and thought I might unwind here,” Hajime answered. _Speaking of Tooru-_

“Have you found that to be the case?” The Dancer asked with a soft smile. Hajime found himself smiling in return.

“I have.”

“That’s good,” The Dancer said under his breath. “Tooru must trust you if he brought you here. He doesn’t usually bring other people.”

“Oh really? Do you know Tooru well?” Hajime asked, glad to finally be the one asking questions instead of answering them. Not to mention he would love to learn more about Oikawa.

“I do,” he nodded, “I’ve known him for a long time. He tends to be secretive and slow to trust.”

“Why?”

“That seems like more of a question for him, don’t you think?” The Dancer shot back. “He obviously trusts you, so why not give it a shot?”

“I don’t think he’d tell me much.”

“You never know.” They sat in a comfortable silence for a while before The Dancer stood. “I should go now. I hope you’ve enjoyed your time here.”

“I have,” Hajime responded quietly. “Because of you.”

“Ah, you flatter me, Iwa.”

“It’s true! I-”

“Will I see you again?”

“I’d like that, but…” Hajime trailed off. There was no way he’d really be able to come back.

“I understand. I hope you’ll forgive me, then,” he said. Hajime was about to ask just what he meant when The Dancer reached up and gently placed his hand on Hajime’s jawline. He kissed Hajime gently. “Goodbye, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime didn’t have the breath left in him to call out when The Dancer left.

\--

“Tooru, gods, what were you thinking?” Issei asked as soon as they were safely back in the castle and Hajime had retired for the night.

Tooru sighed, burying his face in the pillows on Issei’s bed. That’s just the thing. He hadn’t been thinking. “He won’t know it was me. It’s fine.”

“That’s not the part I’m worried about. Sure, he might not find out, but what about _you_?”

He rolled over onto his side, facing away from Issei. “I’ll be fine. I…” He took a shaky breath and pretended he wasn’t about to cry. He hated crying in front of other people, especially Issei. Gods know Issei had more to worry about than Tooru and his feelings. His feelings that he wasn’t even supposed to have. They had agreed in the beginning to not get attached to anyone here. Of course Tooru had to mess that up.

“Will you?” Issei responded after a short silence. He sat down on the bed next to Tooru, resting his hand on his back. “What about when we leave?”

“I don’t want to think about that,” Tooru answered. He curled one hand into a fist and dug his nails into his palm to stop his tears. “I can’t.”

“You need to at some point,” Issei said softly.

“Gods, Issei, I fucked up. I wasn’t supposed to- this was never- I-” Tooru finally broke down and allowed himself to cry.

Issei rubbed Tooru’s back as he cried. Well, sobbed is a more accurate description. Tooru felt like he was emptying himself completely. When he thought he couldn’t cry anymore, the tears came back in full force. After a point, he couldn’t even tell what he was crying _about_. 

“Do you even want to leave?” Issei asked quietly. Even though it was an honest question, Tooru couldn’t help but feel a sting from those words.

“I don’t know anymore. I… I want to go back home but I’m not sure Ylisse is really home.”

Issei nodded. “I understand how you feel. It’s like we don’t really belong anywhere anymore, right?”

“Yeah. And I… I have more of a _life_ here. But all of our friends are still in Ylisse and so are our parents. I just wish there was some way to have both, but the way back to Ylisse is a one way trip.”

“I know, I’d like the best of both worlds too, but it’s just…”

“Not possible,” Tooru finished for him. “I know. At least you have Takahiro no matter what you choose. I can either stay here with Hajime _or_ see my parents again. Not both. Not to mention I have no royal standing here. There’s no way we could be anything more than a prince and his loyal retainer.” Tooru sighed. “I wish I wouldn’t get attached so easily.”

“That’s probably the last thing I’d say about you,” Issei said with a short, sharp laugh. “You don’t get attached like this easily. It takes a lot of time for someone to wear down your defenses this much.”

Tooru shrugged. “I guess.”

“You said so yourself, didn’t you? Slow to trust, right?”

“Yeah, it’s just-” Tooru exhaled sharply. He had really been hoping to put this conversation off for a while. “Slow to trust doesn’t mean I can completely control who I trust. I do trust Hajime, but… it’s more than that, you know?”

“I know. I wish I could help you.”


	7. Chapter 7

“You’ve got a lot of sadness in your eyes,” Hajime said, breaking the silence they had been working in.

“You spend a lot of time looking into my eyes, milord?” Tooru asked teasingly, setting his quill down. He was surprised that Hajime had been able to see through him, but he supposed that was to be expected from someone with just as many masks to wear.

Hajime shook his head. “It’s just something I’ve noticed. You’ve been through a lot.”

Tooru snorted. “You make it sound so simple.”

“That wasn’t my intent,” Hajime said softly. Tooru stared at him for probably a second too long.

“I wish it were simple,” Tooru sighed. “I wish my story wasn’t so unbelievably unbelievable.”

“Tell me a little bit, then,” Hajime said. “A believable part.”

Tooru spent a while trying to think of what he could say. There were so many things he _couldn’t_ that finding something he could was extremely difficult. 

“I guess… because of the Faceless this is more believable, but where I’m from there were these… these things called Risen. They were similar to the Faceless, but they were fallen warriors come to life. I was about fourteen when I fought them for the first time. It was easier back then, at the start. Sure, the Risen were hard to fight, they still retained all their skill from when they were alive, but it was simple. Just kill the Risen. They were already dead anyway. They weren’t really real people.” 

Tooru paused and looked out the window. The sky was blue. It was nice. He remembered a maroon and black sky. “But before long, we started losing battles. And we had to fight our own fallen warriors,” he closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath and turning back to Hajime before opening them again. “And the dead in the world far outnumber the living. I told you this next part before. I was in a battle, fighting alongside my mother. We were outnumbered about ten to one. I wasn’t fast enough or strong enough, I’m not sure I would be even today-”

“You-” Hajime started.

“Please, just let me finish?” Tooru asked, unconsciously starting to tap his hand against the table. Hajime nodded. “It’s true though, I don’t know if I could. I’m lucky my sister showed up when she did, but she was too late to save our mother. Which put her in the ranks of the fallen warriors.” He could hear Hajime’s gasp as he no doubt figured out what that meant. “She became one of the Risen. My sister and I had to fight her and kill her a second time to make sure she rested properly. It’s among the hardest things I’ve had to do to this day.”

Tooru could feel Hajime’s eyes on him as he picked the quill back up and continued to write. He knew Hajime wanted to ask what the hardest was. After all, what could possibly be worse than having to kill your own mother? Tooru hated to think about what he had done in his past. He would understand if everyone from the future they had abandoned hated him. His sister, too, but he had been the one to make it a real possibility. He had been the first one to leave.

“I didn’t even really have time to properly grieve her. Every day was really only a fight to survive. Even if we weren’t fighting, we were trying to find a way out. My… well, my true homeland probably doesn’t exist anymore. It’s likely been destroyed completely and anyone that stayed there will have died.” Tooru looked down. He still felt guilt about that. There should have been some way for them to save the rest of the people. They’d left them all to die. They even nearly failed a second time when Grima had been resurrected again.

Tooru was pulled out of his thoughts, quite literally, by Hajime lifting him out of his chair and pulling him into a tight hug.

“M-milord, what-”

Hajime didn’t respond other than to hold Tooru tighter. Tooru eventually gave up trying to make sense of it and accepted the hug, laying his head down on Hajime’s shoulder. Even though he was taller, he felt small in Hajime’s embrace.

“I know… I know I can’t do anything to really make you feel better and I obviously can’t change anything, but I hope you know that I care about you and that if I could, I would.”

Tooru sighed sadly. “I wish I could tell you everything, but…” he trailed off, biting his lip.

“I understand-” Hajime started.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” Tooru said quickly, interrupting Hajime before he could get far. “I do! It’s just… I don’t want you to think any differently of me.”

“I wouldn’t! Oikawa, I think of you as a dear friend and nothing could change that,” Hajime protested. Tooru smiled to himself. He had already known that, of course, but it was still nice to hear.

“You say that now, but I could guarantee that things would change. I’d like to continue serving as your retainer at least until the end of this war.”

“Do you truly think my perception of you would change that much? Oikawa-”

Tooru stopped him. “I do not think you would think less of me. Just differently. We’ve been through a lot together and I am content with how we treat each other. I fear that if you had known from the start who I truly am, none of the memories we have made together would have been possible.”

“And if I learn your true identity now? Will anything have to change between us? If you only tell me, we could keep it as our secret-”

“I… I can’t. I’m sorry,” Tooru said, pulling back from Hajime. He couldn’t bring himself to look Hajime in the eyes, unsure what he’d see if he did. “I wasn’t… I wasn’t ever supposed to tell you this much in the first place. I just… _gods_ I want to tell you.”

“After the war, right?”

Tooru nodded. “After the war.”


	8. Chapter 8

The battle was bloody, but Hajime was alive. _Oikawa_ was alive, laughing breathlessly from the shock of it all. Hajime had to admit, it was strange, but he didn’t care. He was caught up in the rush of victory. They were _alive_. He could kiss Oikawa. He could. He’d like to. But he wasn’t sure how Oikawa would react. They were getting closer and closer to a possible end to the war, and yet Oikawa kept getting more and more distant. He reminded Hajime of how he acted when he first arrived in Nohr, closed off and secretive, only really talking to Matsukawa.

“We’ve _won_ , milord,” Oikawa said teasingly, interrupting his thoughts. “You could at least drop your grumpy exterior to smile a little.”

“Right,” he said stiffly.

“Is everything alright?” Oikawa asked, concern clear in his eyes. Hajime hoped his own didn’t reflect that. He was supposed to be able to control his emotions by now.

“There’s just something I wanted-”

Oikawa’s eyes flickered to a point behind him and before he could say anything, he was being pushed away. A shuriken nearly hit him, but it did graze Oikawa’s arm, just barely scratching into skin. Oikawa pulled out a shuriken of his own, where he got it or how he learned to throw it was a mystery to Hajime, and quickly took out the lone ninja remaining.

“You saved me.”

“Don’t look so surprised, milord,” Oikawa teased with a smile on his face. “It _is_ my job, after all.”

Oikawa was starting to pant and it didn’t escape Hajime’s notice. “How deep is the cut?”

“Not very deep, it really only scratched me,” Oikawa responded, rolling up his sleeve to get a better look.

Hajime inhaled sharply at the sight that greeted him. “Oikawa-”

“Tooru,” he responded quickly.

“What?”

“My name, my real name, is Tooru. I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell you,” Oikawa, no, _Tooru_ , smiled sadly at the ground, “seeing as I’m about to die.”

“Don’t- We can-”

“This poison acts too quickly. No healer could help me without an antidote and we don’t have any.”

“But-”

“Hajime,” Tooru said, looking up with tears in his eyes and no smile to be seen, “I’ve lived through a lot, but there’s no way I can come back from this.”

“Don’t call me that,” he whispered, holding onto Tooru tightly. “You can’t- you can’t just _refuse_ to use my name the whole time we’re together alive and then use it when you’re dying. That’s not _fair_.”

“Would you prefer I still call you milord?” Tooru asked. Even while he laid dying, Tooru managed to keep his wit about him.

Hajime shook his head. “I would rather you not die.”

Tooru’s mouth twitched, like he wanted to smile, but couldn’t quite get there. “I am from a different land.”

“I know your homeland is far-”

“No, Hajime, a different _world_ altogether. I needed the help of a god to get here. I come from a different time. I needed the help of a different god to travel back in time. My future was full of despair and hopelessness and death. When I traveled back in time, I got to fix that all.” He paused to cough weakly. “Don’t let this war end in a way that will bring all of that to Nohr and Hoshido,” Tooru was shaking and sweating now, leaning heavily on Hajime for support. “You can find my younger self in Ylisse, should you choose to travel there. Matsukawa will show you how. You’ll also find my sister, both future and present versions of her, in Ylisse. Please, if you go, tell her that I love her. Tell… tell my mother, too.”

“How would I know who she is?” Hajime asked. He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to go to Ylisse, but he needed to know everything just in case.

“Remember that duel we had, all those years ago?” Hajime nodded. “Technically, it wasn’t breaking any rules. You and I are of equal social standing, just in different worlds.”

“You are a prince?”

Tooru nodded. “Prince of Ylisse, currently second in line for the throne. My sister is first, but her present self will be as soon as she comes of age. They can survive without me.”

“I can’t,” Hajime whispered, quiet enough that he wasn’t sure Tooru heard him.

“ _Hajime_ , you’re strong. I know you can. You- you have to.”

“Don’t make me,” Hajime choked out, eyes beginning to fill with tears. He tried to force them back, but his efforts were in vain, “ _Please._ ”

“I don’t have much a choice. I’ll see you again, after you have lived a long, full life. Don’t make us meet too soon,” Tooru finished quietly. After a moment’s hesitation, he added, “Iwa-chan.”

“Tooru, please-” Hajime said, voice breaking. He was shaking, maybe even harder than Tooru was.

“I… I love you Hajime.”

Tooru went limp in his arms. Hajime closed his eyes tightly and pulled him closer, shoulders shaking as he cried quietly. Some far corner of his mind, the only part that was truly working close to right, registered what Tooru had called him. Iwa-chan. Only one person had ever called him that. How fitting that in only a few words, Tooru had revealed more to Hajime than he ever had during their time together.

Hajime opened his eyes to see that Tooru’s appearance had changed. His hair was pink and shorter than before. Hajime reached up to gently close Tooru’s eyes and saw that one of them had a strange mark on it. He recalled Tooru asking him if the Nohrian royal family had anything like that, a long time ago when Hajime had put him on house arrest.

Hajime pressed a light kiss to Tooru’s forehead. “I love you too Tooru. I just wish we would have told each other sooner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this entire fic is 100% because ((spoilers for birthright i guess)) if you play through birthright and defeat laslow, he's the only one of the awakening kids that dies and my mind immediately went fic. anyway when i played through birthright, I did everything in my power to avoid laslow because i didn't want to kill him

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr!  
> [Main Blog](https://nightshade002.tumblr.com/)  
> [Haikyuu Blog](https://theprettysettersclub.tumblr.com/)  
> [Fire Emblem Blog](https://soimadeafireemblemblog.tumblr.com/)  
> [The Writer Squad](https://thewritersquad.tumblr.com/)  
> [Ask Oikawa Blog](https://ask-tooru.tumblr.com/)


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